For now I will be blogging at our farm space: windswayfarm.blogspot.com
Thanks for your attention.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
A gift of Love
Last time I was in the shower the bar soap fell, and I tried to find it first with my feet, and then kneeling down with my hands, but to no avail. Finally I resigned myself to have a soapless shower and just instantly something landed on my left toes, it was the bar soap.
I thought that was a very good picture of what happens in my life too, how when I am in need of things first I have to let go of the selfish desires that go along with it, and just then and only then the wish comes true.
It is easier said than done too, for many years I am spending trying to ask for some things without being attached to the result, and yet, it does not work, the matter is that even if one wishes to be desattached, one usually is not....it is more likely that God gives at some point the gift of desattachment, the gift of being able to rest in His hand on that issue, and to let go of any wants in that, and it follows that after God gives me that gift, the very thing for which I was asking before comes right to my life, instantly, just like the bar soap. Sometimes it happens too that God is waiting for me to obey Him in something, and when I do, then He rewards with this gift of desattachment and peace in my heart.
This Christmas He has given me one of the long waited wishes, a marriage in love. I was struggling for a while, to see love in me for my husband and vice-versa. God finally let me ask for some thyroid medications, and things started to change drastically, I was no longer in a sullen mood, and my husband's melancholic disposition seemed most and most admirable. I was reminded of how you pair children of the same temperament for short periods of time in order to bring an effort of the temperaments to balance and not go to the extremes...it is a hard job and this is why you just do it for short periods of time...usually children ( and people) gather together naturally in temperamemnts that are not alike ( because they complement each other). Well, how grateful I was that I was given a break in balancing my temperament with my husband, now I could be as choleric as I could for a while and admire/need his low key temperament... I do not know how long it will last but surely I am enjoying this second honey-moon, reminiscing all the things and feelings of the past and having them alive again in my heart.
I was some time ago immersed in reading books about marriage and relationships, and after what happened to me I have to reconsider some of the things taught in them, I think now that many of these books are smart, yet not wise. Wisdom in relationships comes from another source and I am not yet able to describe it. It seemed also that seeing examples of happy marriages around me, and the reading of many good personal articles in the Family Life magazines, have helped me to gain a perspective in things. One of the things I read was about some people who have a double face, they seem so kind to strangers yet they are horrid at home. I pondered and asked myself if that would be true for me too, and discovered that there might have been. Maybe my selfish desires to be loved, made me be a people pleaser and an ogre at home...I have come to the place where I want foremost to honor and help my husband, because if I cannot do both at the same time, that means God's love is not in me.
I thought that was a very good picture of what happens in my life too, how when I am in need of things first I have to let go of the selfish desires that go along with it, and just then and only then the wish comes true.
It is easier said than done too, for many years I am spending trying to ask for some things without being attached to the result, and yet, it does not work, the matter is that even if one wishes to be desattached, one usually is not....it is more likely that God gives at some point the gift of desattachment, the gift of being able to rest in His hand on that issue, and to let go of any wants in that, and it follows that after God gives me that gift, the very thing for which I was asking before comes right to my life, instantly, just like the bar soap. Sometimes it happens too that God is waiting for me to obey Him in something, and when I do, then He rewards with this gift of desattachment and peace in my heart.
This Christmas He has given me one of the long waited wishes, a marriage in love. I was struggling for a while, to see love in me for my husband and vice-versa. God finally let me ask for some thyroid medications, and things started to change drastically, I was no longer in a sullen mood, and my husband's melancholic disposition seemed most and most admirable. I was reminded of how you pair children of the same temperament for short periods of time in order to bring an effort of the temperaments to balance and not go to the extremes...it is a hard job and this is why you just do it for short periods of time...usually children ( and people) gather together naturally in temperamemnts that are not alike ( because they complement each other). Well, how grateful I was that I was given a break in balancing my temperament with my husband, now I could be as choleric as I could for a while and admire/need his low key temperament... I do not know how long it will last but surely I am enjoying this second honey-moon, reminiscing all the things and feelings of the past and having them alive again in my heart.
I was some time ago immersed in reading books about marriage and relationships, and after what happened to me I have to reconsider some of the things taught in them, I think now that many of these books are smart, yet not wise. Wisdom in relationships comes from another source and I am not yet able to describe it. It seemed also that seeing examples of happy marriages around me, and the reading of many good personal articles in the Family Life magazines, have helped me to gain a perspective in things. One of the things I read was about some people who have a double face, they seem so kind to strangers yet they are horrid at home. I pondered and asked myself if that would be true for me too, and discovered that there might have been. Maybe my selfish desires to be loved, made me be a people pleaser and an ogre at home...I have come to the place where I want foremost to honor and help my husband, because if I cannot do both at the same time, that means God's love is not in me.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Vision
Last summer I received a strong impression, like a
revelation, where the peoples of the earth were separated into two groups, one
with technology and the other without. It seems to me that machines are
becoming the masters of humans instead of humans being served by machinery.
Humanity is being crippled, being animalized, and though God does not need many
generations to change the face of the earth, (he can do it instantly), in my
vision this took place in a span of various generations. Studying the various groups of people that
are staying away from technology, it seems to also be two categories, those
that do it out of tradition, indigenous cultures and alike, and those that
consciously choose to stay away from technology even though it is readily available.
The first one will eventually succumb to the environment, and if it chances to
be an environment with technology it will change their traditional ways to that
of modern ways, in one generation. We have seen it happen many times. The other
group who consciously chooses to set themselves apart, do so out of convictions
stemming from God, and will also see changes, as technology creeps in
forcefully, the groups will experience division and purification. Some will not
be able to stand the pressure of the world, and will start to compromise (
using computers for business only, watching TV programs that are acceptable,
etc..) we all know where that compromise ends up, next generation does not have
the limit and starts following the crowd. Now this seems to be rather extreme,
yet it is the vision that was given, and though from the outside it may seem
crazy, it was also looking rather crazy when I found my husband, yet it was
God’s will. I had been in relationships,
every two years, with men that I always thought I would be married to. Finally
my friend told me, do not keep on thinking that this is the one you will marry,
you are always wrong! After my marriage I did change my romantic ideals from
one level to another, and now I was looking for a church, one that would be the
real church, the one that I would be married to. Every time we would find a
church we would “fall in love” with it and think it was the ONE. Well, now I am
ready, like my friend told me, to let go of that search too in the spiritual,
and to let God decide which is the church I should commit to, the one which
through thick and thin I will stand and never let go till death do us part. I
was given a vision, now I want to
respond willing and accordingly.
The story goes that one time, tourists in Pensylvania asked
their Amish guide, so, what is the difference between us English and you Amish?
The Amish guide said,: Who is here thinking that TV is not good for children?
All raised their hands. Who is here taking the TV out of their lives? Nobody raised
their hand. This is the difference between them.
I have seen this also in many other circles, besides those tourists,
educated people, godly people, waldorf people, conscientious people, Christian
people, we all want to do what is right, but who has the strength? You need God
for that AND society, you need a group of people that supports that vision, if
you just have yourselves, sooner or later the wolf will come in. This last
Christmas we went visiting relatives in Spain, my children were praised upon
arrival, how good they behave, how thoughtful, how nice to be around with all
day long, they are really different from the ones raised in this country, what
do you do different? After two weeks of being there my children started to
behave like the regulars, all their niceties were dwindling and at the end of
our stay you could not have differentiated one from another! There is a lot of
things going on in the culture one is living in, you need a society to uphold
standards. You can see this clearly in language, my children never acquired my
strong Spanish accent while learning English, though I was the main caregiver!
The culture gives the language, and does also give many other things. Let me
not be blind thinking we can be doing it alone just with God, God can surely
bring strayed ones to his fold, but we also need to fellowship with one another
regularly, and a society that upholds God’s will, though division may come in,
though purifications may be sent, let me ask for God’s will, for God’s
leadership in these matters, for God to show His bride to us.
We are doing songbooks this time, one it is full of Amish
songs we have learned with our neighbors and we sing them at night together,
the other is a compilation of our favorite songs and some new ones that go
through the calendar of the year. For this season we are choosing O Sacred Head Surrounded, and The Heartbeat of
God.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Horizontal
Lately I have been thinking in terms of horizontal and
vertical lines, and it appeared to me that many things can get explained this
way.
For example, taking a look in our society, I would say that
we have taken the horizontal more than before; in past days, babies were taken
care at home, and even today some cultures have that privilege, but more often
than less, babies are cared for in care centers, where the norm is to have them
separate by ages, as to make it easier for schedules and needs of the baby,
obviously there are different needs for a 6 month old, than for a one year old
or two year old etc…, but in the days past, babies were together at home, the
newborn, with the toddler, or the crawler with the 3 year old, etc….If we take
a look at the school age children we see the same effect, except in few small
parochial schools were the 8 grades are in the same classroom, or in large homeschooling
families, we have the separating of children by ages, with the consequence of
having a peer group of the same age that mainly interacts with each other and
less and less with the other age groups. This continues in the work place and
finally also in the golden age, a small amount of families can take care of an
elderly now at home (with the father gone to work outside home and the mother following). This leaves the
nursing homes full again of people of the same age that are in their last years
of life.
This panorama seems to me to happen when one considers
mainly the advantages or efficiency of grouping people in the same age
together, it is an horizontal way of thought, yet it may be that there is
missing the vertical line of thought, that line that considers another
efficiency and does not group people by the same age but by nucleus of diverse
ages, the old fashioned home with three generations or even four generations living
together.
Besides the old fashioned home there are also some initiatives
that recreate this form, I know of a farm setting that has children, elderly and
middle age people together, working as a group, not related by blood, yet
nowadays even families that would do this form naturally would be doing out of
a conscious will, being that the tendencies in the regular society are so
opposite.
Looking at the plant world we can gain some insight about
these two lines: the horizontal, the
leaves formation is mainly to receive, it gets the nurturing from the sun and
air, etc. The vertical line could be seen as the flower and seed formation, is
the giving back, the sharing and bringing forth to the earth. If a plant would
go on with horizontal forces but not vertical ones, its future would probably become
close to extinction, whereas one that would just try to go on vertical lines,
would not quite make it. So it is in life, that both things need consideration.
In our society I
think too much emphasis is put on the
horizontal line, in the management of things of a material outlook, and we
forget the things of the spirit. I think that people of different ages living
together is the best setting for learning and living, and it is where we can
really stretch our soul, and also give it proper life.
It is obvious to see
that aged people thrive by seeing the little ones, their faces bright
up, their eyes shine again, and also it is obvious to see the small ones nurtured by the
elderly, that old time story repeated, that constant presence in the rocking
chair, etc…Now what about the middle aged? I know that to be with the elderly is draining
the etheric of some people, while others
get drained by the children company. How we can learn which is our form and how
to make adaptations? Well one thing to consider again, is to have the three together,
one would balance the other, the strong etheric forces of the first years, and
the strong forces that have worked through
the etheric on the last years, can
balance themselves, with the middle aged person, the one in between, who
by being in the presence of both, gets too a balanced rhythm of forces.
That farm that I mentioned is very inspiring to me, I myself would like to
age in a family setting, either by blood or not, but who knows! On the other
hand I want to look for an elderly in need, maybe somebody needs
a home now. Good is a society that cares for their elders and their
young!
There is some of the woolwork we are doing these winter days,
the middle child has done a hat for her cousin’ baby and the oldest child is
embroidering in wool bags, the small child is finger knitting and making pom-poms.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
By their fruits
“By their fruits you shall know them”
Some years ago I gave up my discernment, I saw that my mind
is not always right and that my capacities to know the truth are limited,
especially as a woman I could see my proneness to be deceived, moreover in things
of the spirit. Is in this light that I wear also a head covering, as my
commitment to acknowledge this limitation that I have and also to protect from
the spiritual world.
So then the guidelight that I could follow is a practical
one, theories and doctrine may sound good, but I could be deceived, whereas how
people walk in the spirit, the showing of the fruits of the spirit is very
clear.
In my path I was attracted to the plain life long ago, but
it was a romantic notion that I had about it, yet this year we found ourselves
in the midst of plain people and this is part of what I have seen in them:
They are more ready to crucify their flesh daily, as a
conscious act, not as a tradition “that is the way we do things” but as a
conscious exertion of the will to put the flesh away, they wake up early 4:30
am, they have long morning devotionals, they work as a means to put their
fleshly desires away, that is one reason why they do things more manually, the
flesh wants to rest but the spirit can go onward.
They strive to really get to know the other person, they do
not chat with you just for a politeness or for any other reason than to get to
know you better, as it is a very difficult task to really show an eager interest in the other person. They ask
questions and take time to get to know you.
This summer we had an exchange student in our farm, and quietly I
observed how people around us interacted with him, we had opportunities to see
people from all walks in life and the ones that took more time and effort to
know him were the Amish.
I think these two things weave together one feeding the
other, as we put away our flesh, our spirit is more willing, and the fruits
will show, starting for real love for each other.
On another hand their uniform
also serves a very important function, that is to put away pride. Pride creeps
in our lives so easily, but the vestment is an outside mark of our willingness
to put away pride. I made the experiment of dressing plain for a while ( which
by the way means the same dress for the whole week, unless it is soiled), and
then going back to choosing dresses and attire for each day, what a difference!,
my thoughts were so different, even if I was dressed modestly, the thought of a
flowery pattern or a form or a lace was in my mind as a form of pride. I think that
we modern people have been desensitized also, so if you do not do the experiment
you may think I am not right, but then again, it may work different for
everybody, I leave room for that.
The monks and nuns have their habits which are a form of
what the Amish also wear, the important thing is that you submit your desires
of outward appearance to the group, as means of your willingness to submit to
Christ. It is not about being sameness or being annulled of your individuality, yet is bringing this individuality to serve
the group, is about a conscious work of the will and mind life to serve Christ.
For that reason I would uphold this kind of uniform instead of every family
choosing their own, after all, if we choose our own, is still prideful. I know
that in the past lay people did not have these uniforms, and there was a reason
why: the peasant life was ordered by the spirit, and the families grew in the
fear of the Lord in such a way, that their dresses were not interfering in
their religious life. In city places you could see how these principles started
to decay, and the dress was more a matter of show instead of a matter of service.
On the other hand nowadays, the wordly mind set is so close to us, and the
spirit so far, that I think it would be a good thing that lay people of a same
parish or locality would dress with uniforms again, to combat the pride in a
higher scale.
Finally, though not at all thoroughly, another thing I
observed with the Amish is their joy, a joy that comes only when you give up
your needs and work for the needs of the others. It is true that we are
bestowed with responsibilities in life,
some with families to raise, some with other endevours, but if you keep the
focus on those responsibilities you may loose the whole point of it,” it is in
loosing your life that you shall live”. I remember in Little Women how the
mother did not hesitate to bring the breakfast to the poor family on Christmas
day, if she had been thinking about her own children all along, the thought of
sharing would not have had any opportunity to even come to her mind, and I think
that is the problem with some of us, we have our focus on the wrong place, and
then the spirit cannot talk to us. Just
this past Christmas I had the opportunity to invite someone to our home, yet my
fears of fleas made me do otherwise, since then I have been with remorse in my heart
and asking God to help me overcome my fear of “ little creatures!”. Well, now
we are dealing with lyce in my own children, and I hope this will make me strong
to invite my neighbor in spite of fleas. Fear is lack of Love, and God is Love.
Obviously not all the Amish I have seen live up to this
ideal, neither any group or church in the new testament was perfect, yet we all
are called to perfection in Christ, so it is that I want to walk closer to the
light and to people that show the fruits of the Spirit. If it was just for me I
would start baptism instruction with the Amish this spring, yet it is not in my
hands, so I have to surrender also this wish to God and know that he is perfect
in his ways, I just need to follow.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship
one with another, and the Blood of Jesus Christ his son cleanseth us from all
sin” I John 1-7
Sunday, January 27, 2013
The Road to the Top
The Road to the Top
I entered the valley with fear and with dread
For I doubted the way that my master led,
I shrank from the blackness and darkness of night
And longed to be walking in the safety of sight.
But he said that He’d go and take me on through,
Each step of the treacherous pathway He knew.
So we walked and we walked till the midnight came,
And I said,” I just cannot go on the same.”
For the valley is endlessly long and wide,
I will not be able to reach the far side.”
But he led me still onward; upward and on
And after long hours came a glorious dawn!
I thanked the Master with tears in my eyes,
I was so ignorant and He was so wise.
For I could not have reached this mountain’s height
Had we not walked the valley last night. ( author unknown)
There is something that has been
nudging me since I was told about the way of healing relationships in logotherapy. As I understood, relationships,
especially those between spouses, carry many times a sign of conflict that comes
from early childhood, one session served as an example where we could see how
husband and wife conflicts were being re-created again and again:
The wife was asked to look for
her symptoms at the time of conflict with her husband and to go past her
memories to find the first time she felt like that; it was found she was
feeling anger coming out when she perceived she was ignored by her husband and
going back in time she could see more experiences carrying the same feelings
with the caregivers at home. The husband was asked to do the same and he felt
also anger coming out when he perceived his wife admiration was on somebody else, and going back on time he
could retrace that feeling to when being himself the third boy his mother gave tasks to the
first brother but not him.
This brought up a down-
spiraling dynamic, the more she felt
ignored by her husband the more she would be angry and admire others, and the
more he felt not important by his wife, the more he withdrew and gave
resentment. Both were angry at each other and feeling as they felt when they
were on that little children’s episode.
For the therapy to continue, both
husband and wife needed to find a way to communicate with each other when those
feelings were flaring up again, so the other would be aware and give the
partner what they needed, perhaps a hug, or a listening ear, or some deserved
admiration.
What bothered me about this
system is that it left the marriage as a
link of causes not supernatural, the explanation of falling in love is that
we look unconsciously for the spouse that will guarantee the re-experiencing again of those experiences
that impressed us negatively so much as little children.
There must be another
explanation, and after one month I think I found one and can rest again. I
think it is true that deep inside we know when we fall in love that forces are
working in us, which we do not see completely , and I think it is true that we
engage ourselves with people to re-enact those traumatic experiences, but that
is not the whole picture. I think the big scheme of things has it this way in
order for us to learn the most, if we were not to face our worst fears, we
would not gain so much strength. So it is in life, that when we go in the
valley of darkness, we can have the opportunity to see the purer light again.
So in regards of the therapy, I
would add the second half of the story,
lest couples become discouraged at seeing half of the truth, ( you would not
tell the story of Jesus by stopping at Golgotha on Friday, but you would
continue till Resurrection Sunday), and also I would give encouragement to
those in relationships, that this is the way to strive for the Spirit, as we strive to heal and nurture our
relationships, the Spirit starts dwelling in us.
Finally one more thing to ponder,
the number of divorces nowadays, besides being explained by our growing in
individuality apart from growing in spirituality, it also is explained by the
number of free marriages, that is
marriages not arranged by parents, but by the Spirit, as we experience the
falling in love. Let’s see that last point as an enhancement and not a
hindrance of the work of the Spirit in us, even though in the meantime it may
mean more troubles in the relationship, and many couples not making it to the
end.
(Everything that is said for husband
and wife also applies to any relationship, though with a lesser intensity.)
Healing the Wounds of Others
Let me not live a life that’s free
Form the things that draw me close to Thee
For how can I ever hope to heal
The wounds of others I do not feel
If my eyes are dry and I never weep
How do I know when the hurt is so deep
If my heart is cold and it never bleeds
How can I tell what my brother needs
For when ears are deaf to the beggar’s pleas
And we close our eyes and refuse to see
And we steel our hearts and harden our mind
And we count it a weakness whenever we’re kind
We are no longer following the father’s way,
Or seeking His guidance from day to day
For without crosses to carry and burdens to bear
We go through life that is frotty and fair,
And “chasing the rainbow” we have no desire
For roads that are rough and realms that are higher
So spare me no heartache or sorrow, dear lord,
For the heart that is hurt reaps the riches reward,
And god enters the heart that is broken in sorrow
As he opens the door to a brighter tomorrow,
For only through tears can we recognize
The suffering that lies in another’s eyes.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Monserrat
We have arrived at our farm after a four weeks
“pilgrimage” in Spain, it is good to be back and it was good to be there. We
are thankful of the opportunity that has been given to us.
One thing that impressed my mind during our stay was the Monastery of Montserrat, it has various
legends attached to it, one of them claiming the Holy Grail was hidden there after rescuing it from Mont-Salvat.
To enter the church at 11 am you cross a big patio full
of marble and columns while the numerous bells
are calling to service. The sound is such that makes you shudder, it calls
you inward, it shakes your thoughts and heart. Inside also, the esthetics can
heighten your experience of God, but for me, it was the light coming from the
eastern windows that made the most difference. The churches were always built
facing east, but even more than that, the windows were designed so the light of
the morning sun would enter and the light would shine, passing through each one
of the faithful gathered there, as it moved in the firmament during the
service. It was really awesome, how you felt the lighting, warm, sometimes blinding touch of the light as you
collect your mind to remember of the things divine and infinite.
This experience full of content and form helps to carry
your soul through the week ahead, or if you are lucky to have this daily, to
the day ahead. Is this combination of
form and content that conforms to the truth, you take one away and the
truth also escapes.
It is the same with the question that burrowed in my life
this Christmas, how you walk a Christian life, how you follow the teachings if
your heart is not in it? Some times I thought it was good to follow your conscience and
rules, even of you do not feel like it, they say the willing, in due time,
will educate the feeling aspect, so I even took notes in my mind of what I ought
to do to be good Christian and my thoughts forced my will. Even if my heart was
not in it.
Other times I thought that is through feeling that this is
accomplished better, and I trained my
thoughts to go into the feeling realm and thus also create strong will that
work into the material world. This would be one of the goals of the Jesuit meditations.
Yet I wonder if both approaches could be lacking
something, because in my latest experiences it is FROM the feeling that willing and thought life are to be changed in
a Christian walk. It is from my
acknowledging that I fall short of thinking in the right way, it is from my
acknowledging that I fall short in acting the right way, that perhaps God will
listen to my plea and change my heart, so my thoughts and actions follow
thereafter.
This is a very narrow
path, because daily we encounter these situations, if we are honest and
inwardly attentive, there are many times a day when you are faced with this
reality, we do not do what is right, we do not think what is right. And the
advancement comes if we submit to these failings in a pleading attitude to God,
instead of trying to fix it our own way, either doing what is right out of
thought, or doing what is right out of trained will. I think this is also the
difference between working as a Pharisee or working as a contrite sinner. The
ones harbor hardness of heart, the other is a pliable heart.
The homeschool group is going to rehearse the Sound of Music, a very interesting
musical too, for pondering about God’s ways, which are always a mystery and a
joy.
On the other hand we are trying to compile a list of good
classic books for reading, some of our favorites are:
Little
House of the prairie
Caddie
Woodland
Heidi
Charlotte’s
web
Chronicles
of Narnia
Oliver
Twist
Leo
Tolstoy stories
Von
Trapp family singers
Grimm’s
complete fairy tales
Andersen
fairy Tales
Shakespeare’s
selection
El
Cid
Don
Quijote de la Mancha
Ivanhoe
Parsifal
Little
Women
The
1000 and one nights
In regards of
handworking, we found these little
shepherd’s capes, which are made of wool and are tight to the chest. I find
fascinating how in the older times people wore very loose clothes and nowadays
people, specially modern people, wear very tight clothes. I think part of it is
because it gives the body a sensation of touch, people are more drawn out of
their physical bodies nowadays, and they find comfort in clothes that bring the
awareness back to their skin, their etheric back to the former limits. (that is
also a reason why people should be drinking wine in the old times but not
nowadays, they are already far out and the wine effects hinder the processes
instead of enhancing them). Nonetheless we are children on these epoch, and I
think me and my children would benefit from having one garment that is wool and
tight at the chest area, which is also the heart. We are planning on knitting
some more of these capes for friends and others, as a therapeutic aide.
Finally, after nine months of being at our farm, we found
out that it has a different name, just like in a pregnancy, you look through
child names, and at birth you are reassured of which one is the right one, so
it is for us now, the farm has spoken its own name and it is Wind’s Way Farm. You can see the
development of the project at http://windswayfarm.blogspot.com
My husband is preparing his second novel, titled “The Way of the Wind”, and it wants to
be a metaphor of a life walking with the Spirit of God. I am also preparing for
the illustrations for the first book of “The
Village Children”, this time I will use charcoal and watercolors together.
So it is with all this plans in our pockets that we wish
you all a good year and Epiphany, may we bring our best gifts to give, may God
turn our plans around if it is His will, may we be ready to listen to His
voice.
Songs
for Epiphany: Past
Three o’clock, Good King Wenceslas,
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Story
for Epiphany: Babushka
and The Three Wise Men ( look for the version that has no moral or
judgement passed explicitly)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Victor Frankl
My mother studying is logotherapy, a science after Victor Frankl, who studied much and went through a lot in his life. His first book as a biography is very explanatory, as it speaks of his days in the concentration camp and the outline of his mission in life. I could not put it down until I finished it.
Some of his statements at the end of the book were striking to me, as things that have been spoken in many other books and especially relevant:
¨If man would do things in order to make his conscience quiet, he would turn into a pharisee, and in that instant, he would not be anymore a moral person. I think that even the saints try to serve exclusively God, forgetting the acts that bring them to their sanctity. If they would center themselves in the acts that bring them to sanctity they would end up with a perfectionist personality, but not saints.¨
This is something I face everyday, as I struggle to do what is right out of my heart and not out of duty...just recently my husband needed to leave at 3am in the morning to the airport. I struggled thinking if I should go with him and then back home....a part of me wanted to do that, out of love, yet when I looked better I realized it was out of my conscience more than out of love...so then, was it better not to go? the Bible tells us that acts of charity without love are nothing....worth than nothing!. I gave my burden up to God, and he gave an answer, as he does so often..my brother offered a ride to my husband the day prior to the departure. Meanwhile I am asking God to show me the way of Love.
¨To this characteristic of man I would call self-trascendence of the existence. To be a man means to go towards something or somebody different from himself, either to develop a noble trait, or to get a meaning in life, or to find another human being. The more man forgets about himself , to give himself up to a cause or to a loved one, more human he becomes and his qualities become more perfected. Indeed, the more man tries to gain his self realization the more it fades away, because the real self realization is only the profound effect of the completion of the meaning of life. In other words, self realization is not gained like a goal, but as a rightful fruit of the self-trascendence.¨
How much better we can talk to non-believers about doing the will of God and not our own? How much better to talk about dying to self and gaining life?
¨Love is the only way to arrive a the deepest part of the personality of a man. Nobody is able to know the essence of another human being if he does not love him. For the spiritual act of love we are able to contemplate the traits and characters of our loved one; even to contemplate the potentiality, of that which is still dormant and is to be awaken. Furthermore, it is through love, that the one who loves gives the possibility to the loved one to actualize his potentialities, bring them to life. The one who loves see further and urges the other to bring to life his dormant personal capacities.¨
I have been looked with those kind of eyes, it is so enlivening to have somebody who trusts so much in you, your better you. And I have also looked with those eyes, we all do when we fall in love, for example....yet how to do that continuously...Somebody that continuously looked this way was of course Jesus, but also many of the saints and contemporaries of us, they are persons you notice you long to be with them, they are so peaceful, inwardly peaceful and their gaze is so accepting.They themselves may be very strict and disciplined with their life, yet they embrace the other with such compassion.
One of the exercises that my mother has to do in the studies is about non judgmental attention, to embark in relationships with people in a very non judgmental thought process. That is very difficult, we are built to rapidly bring qualities and judgement to our thoughts, big/little, dark/light, etc...to bring the sense observation to our organized boxes of concepts, yet Goethean Observation, which is one way to practice this void of judgement, is the first step in retraining our minds. Goethean Observation builds the skills in observing the phenomena without making judgements, thus we could meet a person with a particular appearance without making inward judgements about them, or a person which we would normally dislike, without disliking them. This brings a very peaceful way of interacting. I personally have seen in my mom a change in her pattern of thoughts, it is so freeing to be with her without feeling the presence of her judgmental thoughts upon me ( we all do that and is especially intense in closer relationships), I am just asking to be able to do the same with every body I encounter, to be free of my own judgements and to react accordingly. For the people who have faith, this is mainly following the principle of seeing Christ in every human being.
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